Sr JEM's gems

face... part cinq

2011-04-28T21:50:00.000-07:00

And so the American Cancer Society came to my rescue. They found an organization that was associated with my hospital that had small one-bedroom apartments for patients' families. They were going to be redecorating these apartments, and were willing to allow me to stay in one for 5 days (2 days longer than recommended); they would then use the hospital's hazmat protocol to deal with the rooms. I learned later that they sealed the apartment for 2 months - with the reasoning that radioactivity does not have a long "shelf-life". The apartment was gutted - and redone. I don't know if this was the plan before my stay - it probably was - but I felt ... strange.

And so it happened that I was dropped off at the radiologist office by my husband. I was brought to a procedure room and given 3 pages of instructions I had to read and sign. The doctor came into the room in a space suit - with a metal container in his hand. He opened the container and told me to reach into it and take the pill that was contained inside. He then BACKED OUT of the room and watched me through a window in the door to be sure I took the pill!

I was instructed to leave the facility by the back door where we had left my car the previous day. I drove to the apartment 2 blocks away, for which I had picked up a key the previous day. I let myself in, used the bathroom and went to sleep. I was able to use a phone in the room to stay in touch with my loved ones. My husband delivered food to the front or back porch and then left. I was able to retrieve the food after he was gone. I read a tiny bit and slept a whole lot. Five days went by very quickly.

I was scanned a week after my RAI treatment and was found to be cancer free! I had to have the treatment repeated one year later - another RAI treatment but at a lower dose. For this treatment, I stayed in a distant bedroom in my home with no exposure to my family for a week. I used disposable tableware; I laundered my bedding and towels. No one was allowed to use my bathroom for 2 weeks.

And so we fast-forward. It has been 6 years since my diagnosis. I am checked annually. My thyroid continues to be cell and cancer free; one downside is that I have developed osteoporosis, which could have happened in any event. I am kept slightly over-corrected so the cancer doesn't return - and it hasn't!

I ... am the face of thyroid disease. I am 58 and lead a fairly normal life!

face... part quatre

2011-04-28T21:22:00.000-07:00

The radiologist outlined what I could expect - that I would take this radioactive iodine, it would be absorbed by any remaining thyroid cells in my body - and they would be killed. Huh. I was trying to process - remember my mind was still fumbling along.

The doctor also said I should keep myself away from other members of the family for 3 days because I would be somewhat "radioactive". Uh huh. Like Chernobyl? At this point I had to be driven everywhere because I had no energy or brain power to function safely. I asked how I would protect my husband (who incidentally is a brain cancer survivor) - and the radiologist said I should sit in the BACK seat of the car, while he sat in the FRONT seat of the car. Seriously? Was 2 feet enough distance? For a 40 minute car ride?

Let me interject here that I have a friend who had this same procedure done when her second child was 3 years old. She was advised to stay away from the family for 3 days - and so she stayed in a hotel. She returned home after 3 days and of course was rushed by her baby, who had missed her terribly. About 18 months later her son was diagnosed with leukemia. I relayed the story to the radiologist, who responded that, indeed, exposure to something radioactive will cause either thyroid cancer or leukemia, especially in the very young, the very old, or the infirm. I then asked him if being a brain cancer survivor fit any of these categories - he did not reply. My girlfriend feels guilt to this day. (Her son, incidentally, has survived.)

I was then left in a quandary. If I simply went home, could I really stay far enough away from my family to keep them safe? I had four young children and a recuperating husband. If I went to a hotel, would I be exposing complete strangers? Truly, I didn't feel comfortable driving in the back seat of my car with my husband driving - nor did I feel like I could expose a taxi driver to radioactivity!

In the days when insurance companies covered this treatment in the hospital (mine did not) - the hospital used a hazardous materials protocol to deal with the room and bedding - everything was covered in plastic so the radioactive patient didn't actually have direct contact with anything - and even medical people did not enter the room without protective gear. Meals were delivered through a slot in the door, and all the dinnerware was disposable. If the hospital took such extreme measures to ensure no contamination - how in God's name would I achieve this same level of safety at HOME????

face... part trois (or is that throid?)

2011-04-28T20:25:00.000-07:00

I went through surgery to completely remove my thyroid fairly well - in one of those in-and-out medical procedures. I couldn't speak for a couple of weeks - that is, my voice just didn't exist - I whispered. It was difficult to tilt my chin upwards, so I just didn't do it. I was able to eat normally, and my neck actually felt fairly numb.

Several days into the new year I went to one of my surgeon's partners to get the stitches out of my neck - and the dear old fellow told me I had cancer! I have to admit I took the news pretty much in stride, but in hindsight I realize I was in shock. I needed a followup appointment with my endocrinologist.

I was advised to stop taking my synthroid immediately because I would need radioactive iodine treatment. I asked for information on thyroid disease and cancer, and was met with a blank face. This doctor had no information for me to take home to read - so I had to rely on my own online research or books I found in my local bookstore.

Have you visited Hypo Hell? What a place! My brain function barely existed. I slept almost around the clock. When I was "conscious" (and I put that figuratively) I was a zombie. It had been 3 weeks since I was off my medication and I went back to the endo to see if my blood indicated I was "ready" for RAI. Apparently I was - the doctor seemed surprised at HOW ready I was! I was scheduled to see a radiologist right away. Silly me - I asked whether I had a choice in which radiologist I could see - and was met with attitude - WHY would I question the doctor? Didn't I trust him? My state of mind was barely able to absorb his defensive attitude.

face... part deux

2011-04-28T20:24:00.000-07:00

After a couple of years (checking my thyroid levels every several months), I visited the doctor again and complained that I thought I was coping with being overweight fairly well and had some success with the Atkins diet - but now my NECK was getting fat, and I was NOT happy about it! My long slender neck with the lovely indent at the base had completely disappeared and this thick neck with a bulge had replaced it. Doc took one look and sent me for a consult with an endocrinologist. Apparently I had developed a goiter.

After a thyroid ultrasound, the endo told me the radiologist would not even CONSIDER doing a fine needle biopsy on my thyroid - he called it a "mine field" of nodules, and said if we insisted on a biopsy, we would have to find another doctor. I found this interesting if a bit disconcerting.

I asked why I might have a mine field-studded thyroid, and the doctor explained that I had Hashimoto's Thyroiditis - or autoimmune thyroid disease. He said my immune system had been attacking my thyroid, possibly for years, and that it had basically destroyed it. He said we could watch the growth of the thyroid (which, remember, was large enough to see with the naked eye), or I could have surgery to remove it. He said the possibility of it being cancerous was less than 5% - truthfully, I hadn't even considered the word cancer.

I reasoned that I had been on synthetic thyroid medication for years anyway - I didn't find it difficult to take a pill every day - and perhaps it made sense to have the thyroid removed. We scheduled a date with a surgeon for after the holidays. I went home to do some research on Hashimoto's, Christmas shopping, and packing for a family trip. It was the winter of 2004.

I am the face of thyroid disease

2011-04-28T19:54:00.000-07:00

I actually thought my face reflected other things... but I've spent quite a bit of time lately feeling so ... slow.

There's no logical reason for it. I just had my thyroid checkup and my thyroid (or the void where my thyroid used to be) is just fine, thank you very much. I am slightly over-corrected because that's how we keep the cancer in check. But I am getting ahead of myself. Let me start from the beginning.

I had been feeling... old. No energy, excess weight gain, depression, dry skin, my hair was feeling dry and thin... my doctor diagnosed hypothyroidism, and started me on synthroid. He gave me antidepressants too. I actually did begin to feel better, although I admit to being floored when he told me I would need to take the thyroid medication for the rest of my life. Wow. I rarely even took aspirin for a headache!

Oh Wah - I'll Need Some Cheese and Crackers to go along with this Whine...

2008-11-29T15:08:00.000-08:00

A pop quiz for extra credit - booo, hisssssss. If ours were TRULY an online course, the pop quiz would have been available so I could have taken it from Key West or Cozumel whilst sipping a marguerita or martini. The salsa lessons should count for SOMEthing besides sore calf muscles. Shoot, I was able to walk down the hallways of the ship on 4 inch heels in rough seas after doing the salsa for a couple of hours - that should count too! I'm more physically fit than I thought!

I will confess that I didn't even think of xhtml, css, forms or xml while swimming with dolphins - nor while biking around Key West nor having my hair braided into corn rows. Uncle Vito and Aunt Belle (who celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary, and in whose honor I attended this family cruise) gave me no choice between the cruise and the class - it was one of those offers one cannot refuse... or you swim with the fishes (not dolphins) - get it?

I came home with tons of digital photos, crazy crimped hair and great memories... htm-who? Guess I'd better rethink spending the next week shopping in Newport, eh? Ooooooh, I know - I'll have Martin and my mom wait in the student lounge until class is over - then we'll head down to Newport. YES! Gem: decide in advance whether an "A" is more important than family bliss.

Bridge of Sighs

2008-11-13T14:40:00.000-08:00

It's in Venice and is a bridge outside the prison of the Doge's Palace. I visited there and my sighs today easily compete with the many sighs heard over those waters... overheard over those waters? Side note: my husband has a great picture of a gondola moored outside the FedEx building on the water - get it?

OK I am corn-fused. Required fields make my head spin; I'm flummoxed with the cgi script versus the email address pour m'oi versus pour la niveleuse. My miserable child will do this assignment in 15 minutes and I'm bordering on 3 hours. Age has its privileges, and "getting it" isn't one of them. SIGH...sigh...sigh...sigh...sigh...

Is there a gem in this? I am reading - a plus. Search for the smile in the exercise, even if it's simply breathing - which is good, right?

Forms, Faith and Fun

2008-11-10T12:27:00.000-08:00

And on we forge... into the land of Forms. I have created forms before: an online survey for participants from my class. I wasn't crazy about the way the form was delivered into my email; 'twas difficult to read the results. But I have created forms; I have created "thank you" pages; it will be interesting to see how much stored knowledge comes forth as I'm working on this week's assignment.

I have to say it's always entertaining to be in class - we banter, ask questions, go off on tangents and laugh - and still walk away with knowledge and a sense of accomplishment. Time well spent.

I haven't opened DW for weeks ... well, at least not related to class. I have to when I've got to post something for a client simply for the sake of time - but I find myself writing in code view more often. Yes.

I'm now able to read the code in my html and css files and understand what I'm looking at. I have a much better sense of the css - not perfect - I'm still mildly confused by inheritance, but figure I'll do the lynda.com courses again - they're likely to make much more sense this time around.

OK, covered the forms and fun - so finally faith: I am trying to commit to daily Mass. I figure this vessel is pretty cracked at this point, and Sunday's scripture spoke of us being the temple of the Holy Spirit. How can I hold onto His wisdom when I'm so leaky? And so I'm in contemplation when it comes to me that the Sacred Eucharist is stuck like glue on the roof of my mouth, and what better sealant can I find for my leaks? Get it? Daily Mass! YES. I'll keep you posted. Me and 7:30 a.m. don't always get along, at least for periods of time longer than 30 seconds - and I have to be at least semi socially acceptable. Stay tuned.

The gem in all this? Hmmmm - if you want something badly enough, go for it - it's taken me at least three years to begin to get the hang of CSS; and at least 25 to begin to get some handle on my faith.

Of HTML and Web Design

2008-11-04T12:07:00.000-08:00

And so my old Sr JEM gets resurrected, so to speak. I am not the true blogger; that is, I do create them, but let them fade into obscurity where they belong. I don't really have much to say that the clamoring public yearns to read.

I do not have a Blogger bias; I have a Women's Retreat blog to tweak the thoughts of my sister friends who attend the annual retreat at San Lorenzo, and a Friendster blog created essentially for this extra credit assignment. I also have favorite blogs (Ask Sister Mary Martha; Savage Chickens; Ironic Catholic, Catholic Cartoons), but I don't read them regularly, just whenever the Spirit moves me.

And so my quest for an A continues... sheesh I'm competitive.

Stuck in Post-Conciliar Church

2007-05-29T14:59:00.000-07:00

I had no idea... really, if I had known I might have been able to deftly side-step...

The speaker was focused on a mature faith - and places we might be stuck. For example, any of our addictions (shopping, recreational drugs, sex, food) might serve to keep us from growing in our faith.

Then he brought up those stuck in the post-conciliar Church - or pre-Vatican II groupies. I felt his eyes boring through me, thinking "he knows! Someone told him! It's ME!"

I do, after all, love Latin - and really enjoy et in sacula, seculaurum, Amen; Praying the Divine Praises without having to repeat after Father; singing Tantum Ergo; the incense; the candles; the chants; the novenas; the patron saints.

I am the one, after all, who struggles to stand during the Eucharistic Prayer. I cringe when Father blithely holds the Sacred Host, not elevating, so quickly placed back on the paten - and then bows... no genuflection. Is this not God Himself??? Would we not fall flat on our faces and beg mercy if we saw Him in human form? How will the children recognize the transubstantiation if our priests barely acknowledge it?

But stuck? My contemplation goes on for hours some days. I have traveled so far! Nothing to be done but keep exploring, with Himself at my very center.

Today's gem: when you feel particularly bothered some some passing remark, look more closely at yourself. Is there room for improvement?